To: Your HR Dept.

From: Ms Thompson, Principal

Re: Christopher Swanger

I've compiled the following report because I feel that Christopher Swanger is a real troublemaker.

He has this "strong work ethic" and "loyalty" thing that defies description. There is also this little problem of an attitude. His attitude is, there is no place for second best. Even if he has to learn from his mistakes, he'll go out of his way to do his best. He definitely needs to be put in his place, and I believe a good place for him would be Designing or Consulting on your next project.

The following report outlines four areas of concern...

He's always designing and drawing. Draw, draw, draw, design, design, design. I think it all might have begun in one of the many design classes he took in school. He was designing every moment since he was in High School, and hasn't seemed to stop.

I figured we had it licked when we confiscated his crayons, pencils and computer and sent him off to photography school. Wrong again. Those troublemakers over there at FOX studios in Hollywood and the rest of that motley crew dragged him further into the design world.

He came back and took a few more Photoshop classes from Adobe, where I repeatedly caught him practicing design fundamentals. And now he's gone and designed himself right into a degree in visual communication and web & mobile user experience orientated design. He openly admits to being able to use such things as HTML, CSS, Jquery, and Javascript, whatever those may be.

On more than one occasion he's been caught taking awards. As a matter of fact, in 2001, he took gold in best new designer at Westwood College, where he was highlighted in a magazine. Again, we caught him taking another award for his creative resume, which you can see from the links on his website. We then watched him swipe spots on the deans list, directors list, and Alpha Beta Kappa honors society with that little 3.98 GPA of his. His most audacious act was taking the spot of photographer/designer for the band Quiet Riot and members of Guns N Roses rock band where he is developing cd covers, posters, magazine ads, and merchandise.

If it's possible, I'm willing to bet that someday he'll try and snag himself a few national awards using one of his crafty little designs.

Every single time i turn my back, he's working. I've tried punishing him by keeping him late and giving him extra work, but he seems to power his way right on through it no problem. --The little rascal seems to thrive on it.

Not too long ago, I caught him working on exclusive designs for FOX Networks, Fox Sports, and Guitar World Magazine. While there, he got himself a nice stiff dose of just how important visual communication is and how it affects peoples buying decisions, emotions, and feelings. He said he learned to design around the user which is most important. Soon after, he was Directing teams of 6 -12 people as Art Director of an ad agency in the Inland Empire called Star Kreative Services.

After that I witnessed him climbing his way through Zzyzx SnapJack Corporation as the Lead Designer, then Art Director. He plays well with others, and they seem to love to learn from him too. He seems to be a jack of all trades with his knowledge of web and mobile design, user experience and user interface design, point of purchase, packaging, photo manipulation, direct marketing and more.

He even had the gall to learn both PC and MAC applications and platforms, like some little showoff. After he was certified as an expert in Photoshop by Adobe, he has proven time and time again that he is unstoppable in this Photoshop thing, whatever that is.

We even found the proof of all this hoop-lah in a few places on the web like and for starters. We even found more evidence of his photography and design here:

As the principal/director here, I feel you should have a long meaningful talk with this Christopher Swanger character. He's outside my office right now. Call for him at (951) 805-3116 and you can march Mr. Smarty Pants right in there and discuss this little business of design he's gotten himself into.

Signed, Mrs. Thompson, Principal.